I’m going through a bit of a low period and, as such, have been unable to get myself to do much of anything.

It’s a well-known phenomenon that there is a tendency for depression/psychosis and creativity to go hand-in-hand. As a profession, we apparently have a disproportionate number of suicides and drunks in our ranks (and before anyone asks, no, I am not threatening to become either, please don’t worry). It’s all part and parcel of being creative, apparently, and according to this article, evolution is to blame: being slightly depressed or otherwise disturbed makes us artsy types delightfully kooky and windswept and interesting enough to think outside the box and do new and wacky things. Or it just makes us sit still and be keenly observant of our surroundings and inner psyche. So in small doses, it is an advantage. In large doses, it’s crippling and in the case of many famous artists, it’s been devastating…

I am, unfortunately, not immune from this curse of the artistic and am somewhere in between on the depression spectrum most of the time (it’s nothing to really worry about, but it does make for some very very dry periods). Lately it’s been a bit more debilitating than other times, and try as I might, I have been unable to do anything: no writing, no painting, no cooking, no cleaning, no nada.

But guilt is a slight motivator and I did start a drawing. As I think I’ve said before, when I’m depressed, I draw. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s the lack of color, the sort of repetitive, solitary, focused nature of scribbling and working away at paper with a bit of graphite. It also takes less energy, which, when you’re feeling zapped of any get-up-and-go, is a godsend. I think the subject matter of this one kind of reflects how I’m feeling lately… tired. I would, if I could, sleep through life right about now. She isn’t what I was trying to make her at all. I had a sort of Mucha-like art nouveau type thing in mind with lots of swirls and embellishment, but I got too tired and gave up. She is how I am right now – sparse.

Sleep (WIP1)

Sleep (WIP1)

But today has been a little better than the last couple days and I’ve actually been able to do a few things, like write this, for instance.

And then I went into the kitchen and saw this strange sight from my kitchen window and it reminded me that after the rain, there are rainbows…

The Ship at the End of the Rainbow

The Ship at the End of the Rainbow

Advertisements